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mattcr

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About mattcr

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  1. Thanks Dino. Always good knowing we're not alone, but sucks to see others suffering with this.
  2. (Before I start, I have found a number of these agoraphobia forums/chat rooms. I am basically posting the same intro message about me on all of them, so pardon the repetition if you also frequent multiple sites). I am looking for people just to have an online friendship with at this point. I have been agoraphobic for over 15 years now, although I am sometimes able to travel with certain family members/friends in the right situations. I am probably what can be considered to be "situationally housebound" - if I can't find a safe person to go with me to a place I can't go alone, then I won't go and will stay home, isolated and alone. I used to have a perfectly normal life until this hit me in my late twenties. I had lived in many different places including NYC, subways on a daily basis, lots of friends and partying until 4AM and beyond. The last job outside the house was a great one, I had to leave about $250,000 in stock options behind because this affliction was causing me to spiral downward. I figured at the time I was still young enough to get over this and claw my way back. Now I am 45 years old, and have basically had no relationships since then. I have made a few friends here and there along the way, but basically I hold on the best I can to the realtionships I made when I was "normal". I am quite close with my siblings/in-laws, so that helps. Although they are growing increasingly frustrated with me as the years roll by, as I am with myself. I look at my Facebook page and pictures from my past, and it almost seems like another person. I used have parties of 300+ people growing up at my folks house, now that seems miles away. Thing about me is that if I'm feeling good, you would never know anything is wrong with me - I have become a true master of disguise. And since many of my old friends have become quite successful themselves, I am still exposed to some cool stuff, when able (which is NOT very often). Despite all this, I still hold out hope that someday I can still go back to living a somewhat normal life.
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