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Ghost

Members
  • Content count

    3
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About Ghost

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday May 25

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location
    Central Europe (but American)
  • Interests
    drawing, listening to music, reading, writing, thinking about doing productive things but never going through with it
  1. Ghost

    Telling your story

    if this is still relevant, i would like to say that i can go outside but after a few days of my parents forcing me to go out each day, i cant stop shaking and my whole body has been hurting and i dont even want my skin to be touching my body i grew up with my wonderful family, and my sister is my best friend in the whole world, but she suffers from depression, bipolar disorder, ADD, etc. and so i grew up in an environment where i had to be constantly worrying about whether my sister would live through the day or not. She cut, she overdosed, she sat on bridges, and nothing i said could help her live her life like everyone else, and that made me feel horrible because the one person i truly only wished happiness upon couldn't be happy. It must have had some sort of effect on me, i assume. My anxiety, i assume, takes form in strange ways. It makes me feel like everyone is looking at me, and the thought that im surrounded by people i know nothing about scares me. I dont like when things touch me, especially other people, and i don't like hearing voices of people i don't know well. It makes me constantly pull out strands of my hair, my eyelashes, my eyebrows. im constantly eating because otherwise my hands fiddle with things or go to my hair, and pull. The more stressed i get, the more rashes cover my body. I hate bright lights and voices, and i have nightmares about walking down streets full of people, but their heads all face me even if their body isn't. I'm always worried about having panic attacks and anxiety attacks and breakdowns, and im beginning to fall behind on schoolwork because i can't handle all of it. I just don't want to leave the house anymore.
  2. Literally anything from Flatsound
  3. Hi im ghost, but not in a sense that im worried that im invisible, more that i wish i could be invisible im not a very nice person, i must say, because i get so caught up in my own worries that i forget about everything else i know that there must be other people like me, but no one i know is it's strange, there are so many people like me yet none close to me??? It makes sense but i don't want it to. I want my parents to understand that im not lying when i say that i don't want them touching me, that i don't hate myself like my sister but that i wish i could tear my skin off and disappear because it feels like everyone is staring at me and it scares me. im not scratching my arms because i think i deserve it, but because i can't /not/ scratch myself and pull out my hair. It's like an instinct. im so scared of everyone, and myself, and im so scaredof objects and school and responsibilities but i don't trust anyone enough to let them take over. I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but im going to see my sister's therapist? Psychologist? Something-- very soon. Please respond to this, because im not scared of people when i only see their words
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