Hi everyone i just joined today so just wanted to pop in and say hi before have a proper look around.
The reason for joining is that the other day i had a panic attack and i felt so stupid afterwards. I had gone to drop off some desserts at my friends flat, since my mum made extra and gave me some but i am diabetic. I was diagnosised in November last year with type 2 diabetics. My friend lives on 8th floor and since I've gone there often enough i didn't need take my daughter with me. So i went up and i done the breathing in and out etc that i normally do even with someone with me, got off fine enough knocked on the door went in. I stayed away from the windows as normal and was fine. Once i left the bloody lift was taking ages and i started getting my normal symptoms breathing hard, thinking i was stuck up there etc then the lift said was out of service thats when i started shaking and sweating and panicking i felt weak in my knees and the other lift was on the next floor down as its odd lift system. My friend had to walk me along the corridor which is clear glass and down the stairs at one point i froze and couldn't walk i remember her saying for me to trust her. By the time i went down 2 flights of stairs and to the 7th floor outside the lift i was in full panic mode and she had to help me call the lift. It took me almost 15 mins to settle myself after i got to the ground floor.
Its been a long time since last time i had this big of a panic attack i'd say about almost 4 years. I thought i was better and i feel so disappointed that this has happened. I have always had a fear of heights since i can remember i was told it happened after something silly happened when i was about 4 years old but in adulthood hearing it i consider traumatic.
I decided seeking support online as i feel stupid going GP especially since its covid time and lots more pressing and serious things happening. I am just finding it hard and i live on the 2nd floor and i can't seem to go out onto my veranda or even when walking to the lift and back i feel nauseous and i can feel myself starting to have a panic. I was ok before getting the the stage i could go up to the 4th floor without worrying but now i can't stomach going up there or even being weary in my own flat. I am bidding for a bigger council housing and i'm terrified i may get a flat on a high floor that i don't even want to check sometimes what is on offer.
not sure what to do about it