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LLaura

Bipolar mixed state?

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Anyone been given this DX?

I read up on the clinical description of it, kinna guess it does fit me... with my "manic" state being one of racing thoughts, confusion, some obsessional kind of behavior/thinking; and my depressed state being, well, depressed, often majorly.

But i wouldn't describe my "manic" state as feeling euphoric or like an extreme "high". So I guess this is what makes it "mixed" ?

I guess what I'm asking here is if anyone with this DX can give me a description of what they experience, in their own words, not really a clinical one?

Thx.

LL

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Hey Llaura,

I get this. I get racing thoughts, paranoia, mild hallucinations. I do not get the "high" like hypomanic. But i literally cannot stop my head, cannot stop my body etc. So often times I will go on a severe cleaning spree. That can occupy and cause my body intense pain (which is how I guess my body wants to "calm down" without realizing that it isn't good for me).

The other side of this at the same time is am severely depressed (which sounds like it can't exist between the hypomanic but it does) and I feel like all I want to do is end myself. So the suicidal thoughts get on a very high rise. And with the mixed feelings, I have the racing thoughts often of suicidal ideation to paranoia to fear and more.

It is very difficult for me to control what is going on. I haven't gotten advice on how to deal with it. No one. They just tell me to "not think about it". That isn't a possibility.

Just wanted you to know you weren't alone. <3

Kunoichi

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OK.. yeh, yesterday I went on one of those cleaning sprees.... cleaned for hours. And actually I've been having these bouts ever since i was a youngling. My mom used to call me the cleaning tornado, cos i just wouldn't (couldn't) stop until there was no more to do. And not just cleaning either... sometimes it's other things.

and yeh, I get exactly how u describe, except i don't get hallucinations of any kind (don't think so anyway).

And i haven't found or come up with a way to level it all out... yet. I guess it's something i just got used to, but... Ive noticed the past couple years it's intensified, maybe? Or become more of an interference in my life, I guess. My former T (this last one), told me to just accept it as who/how I am and try to mold my life around it. Is this possible? Not so far!

Thx for your input Kuno... always appreciated xxxx

LL

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