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dino

Living with agoraphobia

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1518289yudfsieg41.jpg

With the summer already here

Is it a time for joy, or fear

Trapped in my home, every day

Never escaping, come what may

Someday i will have to leave my room

an easy quest, you would assume

so why can't I remove this dread

and ease the panic inside of my head

Numb the pulse of frantic veins

keep my breathing under reins

dissolve the tears in my swollen eyes

embrace the sun and bright blue skies

Spent too many years inside these walls

with daily breaks and several calls

this endless time I've had to dwell

on failed trips that all went to hell

Can't breathe in any public crowd

it bursts my ears, gets way too loud

so count the seconds till I flee

it won't take long, i guarantee

An injured sense of self esteem

has driven me to this extreme

I'm terrified to let others see

the wounded heart inside of me

I never want to be portrayed

as someone weak, just too afraid

the truth is that i live in fear

of anyone that gets too near

Had to add this song as i feel i'm indeed walking on the moon i'm alway's so dizzy :mellow:

btw the singer in this video is both my husband and son's dental nurse , the drummer Danny i used to work with many year's ago not in the band but in a hotel where i was a waitress :P

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Thanks Dino. I loved it, the poem and the song. I worked all day, picked up 17yr old from work on the way home at 5.45pm and let him drive home, he's learning to drive. I have to prepare myself all the way there and stay calm so I don't have a panic attack, if I think too much about it I wouldn't be able to do it. Then, get home, have dinner, have a shower, take a load of washing off the line, hang a load of washing up, feed dog, wash dishes, make lunches for tomorrow. Now I'm having a break, but I still have to fold a whole load of washing and for some reason the machine seems to have spat fluff all over it. Ughhhh! And it's 9.30! But I still have a smile on my face because even if I'm stressed and if I do slip and have a setback I know you'll understand. Thanks for the end of day pick-me-up.

Be well

Sunny

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Hi Sunny

I am glad you like my wee poem , you know when i read your post's you give me insperation that i hopefully one day can get back out and about again so for that i thank you :)

Your day sounds like mines used to be feed dog washing hung out now poor hubby has to do most of it cos im so fainty dizzy etc i get in such a panic im about to croak i like a tit run back to bed bawling feeling how usless etc etc i am :mellow:

Sorry to be such a moaning bitch here i'm a bit down atm made worse that my oldest daughter's leaving tomorrow to go back to Australia for over a year again i know i should be happy for her and i am i just freak out cos she is going be so so far from home :(

Ok enough o my depressing shite here look i found a pic of you and son learning to drive behindthewheel.jpg:lol:

love dino

xxxxxxxx

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