Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
Catch22

they used my disability to destroy me

Recommended Posts

My ex wife used my PTSD to destroy me.  she wrought havok on my life so severe, I lost everything I owned and had to run 3000 miles to get away from her.  She is absolutely insane and would do anything to harm me.  Had I of not had the PTSD she could have never done what she did to me.  Has anyone else ever had their disability used against them as a weapon of destruction?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for what happened to you. I lost my job due to my anxiety/PTSD and haven't been able to find another job for over a year. My employer totally used my illness as an excuse to terminate me because my new "boss" wanted the cute much younger "temp" that was working under me. Anyways, I hope moving away you can find some support and understanding friends! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think a lot of people have their disability used against them.  I work at home now - have for years.  When I worked in an office, the manager used to roll her eyes at my anxiety, phobias about stuff and try to get me to do stuff that she knew I could not do.  I was so glad I was able to take a lay off .......over 14 years ago now.  I have also been called "crazy" by members of my family - but that was also years ago - I freed myself from them.  I dont think I could work outside the home again, not after being home for so many years now.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,welcome to the forum so glad you made it.Oh ya the crazy thing I get that to also lazy.Cause I cannot walk all by myself to the mailbox.I fell years ago so I use my walker.Just saying my motor skills are not good.I just wish people would get it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for the responses! I always thought if these people could just experience ONE day of what it's like to not be able to function without pain or fear, maybe they would be kinder and more understanding. But after many attempts to "educate" people, I discovered they just don't want to hear it. Most people want to associate with healthy "fun" people. They are selfish and would rather not deal with an ill person. It's very sad. 

Before I got sick, I was used to being "liked" and accepted almost anywhere. Then slowly as I my mind and body started going "haywire", one by one my friends and colleagues stopped wanting me around. I gained weight, I was depressed, I was going to the Dr constantly. I was misdiagnosed, treated like a hypochondriac. Then my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My Mom is Manic Bi-polar and was also having a major episode phase. My Dr suggested a break from my stressful job in Healthcare administration and taking care of my parents. I went on a 4 day vacation. I came back to only be "let go" due to my illness. That catapulted my anxiety to a whole new level. My Psychiatrist had just up and quit and my PCP refused to refill my Xanax. I went through withdrawals and was nearly bedridden for two weeks. 

I focused on my Dad. He was getting worse. My health was getting worse. It seemed like every month I was getting a new disease! My blood pressure was off the charts, I developed Psoriasis, Vitiligo, constant diarrhea, Uveitis, floaters, cataracts, hair loss, insomnia and gained over 50 pounds. It was discovered I have a heart condition that prevents me from any antidepressants and most other medications. My Dad passed away in January. My Mom is in a medical facility. I sit here in this house, watching the world go by, wondering  if I will ever be able to be anything close to what I used to be. 

Sorry for the long post! Hoping you are having a good day. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi lisala 

 

so sorry to read of all your problems -like you i cannot take medications due to other medical conditions it prevents me from antidepressants etc -also just like you i can only sit here in my house watching the world go by -wondering if i will ever manage to be half the person i once was 

 

like you i have a lot of the symptoms exactly the same as yours -so i can relate a lot to how you feel - much love sent your way 

 

A huge welcome to the forum , you will find loads of support both here and in chat :)

 

love dino

xXx

welcome-2.gif

Lisal

Lisal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel like I am in a rut.My yelling the past few days has been just awful and i will probably get into trouble for it to.I mean my land lady just doesn't get it I have told her time and time again I cannot help it ,this is part of my illness,I might as well have been talking to myself.All she seems to care about is the people with a physical illness don't get me wrong I feel bad for them but geez already stop squealing on me  for everything i do.One night about two am I had a nasty cough can you believe that someone actually reported me for coughing.People where I live need to learn to mind there own business,I don't pry into there lives.Then they wonder why I stay put inside to myself.I find that people with a mental illness are so misunderstood they treat us like we are some kind of criminal.Also don't you get tired of having to explain yourself to others.Like I have told all of my doctors I can't come in because I cant leave my house or get a ride,what do they do they call and send stupid letters through the mail wanting you to come in and where I am you cannot get refills after 6 months  I have enough for now however I have been skipping some days.I am afraid to run out,So here I sit every single day with the same old  thing getup wash up get dressed work on my pc then knit and crochet and if I am up to it I draw on the computer.Lucky for me I met this real nice woman who delivers my meals and she liked me so much when she met me she will come by after work to sit with me anywhere from 1-2 hours.She is the only one I feel comfortable with in my house.We will talk sometimes and I love it when we watch movies.. Other then that I totally freak out when I know someone is coming ,wanna talk about being confused I am afraid to be around people but yet I am so lonely.I don't like being alone yet people make  me nervous yes even my own children when i do ever get to see them.Being stuck inside all day long  and day out I believe is what is causing my anger,I am about ready to crawl up the walls,The way I put is we are living in a prison with no way out.Our stinken anxieties and depression are taking control of our mind and bodies,I know with me when I feel anxious and depressed I dont want to talk to anyone let anyone see me.Welcome to the new people here.LOve,Carol

oh I forgot they are doing an inspection on the 16th of Sept I know they will come to check my apt out ,this is making me feel very uneasy I just don't like the idea of some stranger coming inside my apt telling me whether my place is clean or not,It is but still it is very nerve wracking to say the least ,oh sure I don't have to be home to have them come in ,now where am i suppose to go?? So I will sit here worrying about whether they will write me up or not,I know it is less then two weeks away and I am already very anxious about it..What is a person to do ugh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you! It feels good to connect with others that are going through similar issues! 

I have genetic testing on Thursday. We shall see what happens. Much love and support. 

Lisa

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Lisa good luck same here much love and a lot of support.We all need each other I am so glad I found this forum .You would never know it but I am actually a very shy person.I hope you will be okay.Carol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good morning all .... :) 

       I  have not talked to all of u yet , but I am Flo ,   I suffer  from PTSD >> now for  22 yrs ..   Welcome to the forum .... I think you will find it helpful , in finding that you are not alone .. dino is one of our Administrators here and was the first one to welcome me way back when I started in room .. 2006 or 2009 .. cannot remember now . She has a wealth of knowledge about this forum and how it  is run .. so Let me just say a Huge Welcome to you all....

        Image result for welcome images with flowers  Flo  :) xx x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank You Carol ... :)  

      It is so true , that when u do get together with others who suffer like you , it makes you feel better about yourself ... we all have or have had that feeling of been worthless and alone .. but here u can find out it is a normal feeling for those of us who suffer.. I have been on meds for so many years, and it does control my PTSD to a point , but when triggered.. I have those old horrible feelings again . Never be afraid to talk to others of what you are feeling , you will realize that most of us have same feelings .. so makes u an okay person .. which you are,, u just feel that maybe right now u are still not sure of that .

   As for not being able to leave the house . I was the same I came through as Agoraphobic in beginning of my illness .. I with the help of my Dr planting ideas for me,, was able to learn that I could go to safe places , what I felt were safe .. first a neighbors .. then to Church , and not always was I able to stay , but I realized that I had the option to leave and if when I got home , had a lot of anxiety , it would pass .. I eventually found my place that brought to me the most healing of all.. the Hospital that I was treated for my onset of my illness, I would go there and sit in waiting rooms and read or pretend to until I was pretty secure in being there, knowing help was not far away ... I am now a Volunteer for many years there , and I really think that with my Faith, and that work of giving to help others has brought me through to where I am now . I know it has been all about me and what I did >> BUT >> just trying to give u ways to get away from the house and the prison it has become for u ... one day at a time reach out there .. if u fail , try again next day .. Always feel that one day u will be able to get to that goal .

   Sorry so long  ... but in order to help u see that I was in that deep dark place once and have overcome it .. I will be on meds for the rest of my life .. I can handle that it works for me ..

I wish you best of luck in trying a few things to help ..

Love ,

Flo    Image result for believe images

          IN Yourself !!!  :)  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi thank you for awhile there was going outside get this one about 6am till about 8am I love to knit and crochet and i brought it out with me.however the last two weeks I have been in such a deep depression I suppose part of it is because my dad just passed away and I miss my husband,he died when he was only 50 and right in front of me too.I just break down completely  but yet I still do my knitting and crocheting because I look at it this way I am making things for charities like.It actually makes me feel good inside knowing that I made something like I accomplished something,maybe this sounds screwy but I feel proud of myself for doing that and for being able to go outside. I love helping others like in the forums,here where i live I don't trust anyone because lets just say everyone knows your  business.It feels good that I can make things.. People always tell me I have a good heart,I try to do my best. HOwever usually around Sept this is when my phobia gets worse ,and depression too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×