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david

Talk some hope into me

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I hate the way depression screws with the mind. Makes it difficult to see reality cleary with all the filters from it.

As for being needed, you ARE needed. Just something that you have to understand is that if someone has other people in their lives as well, that doesn't make you less needed. As human beings we are made to not be alone. When we are, then it effects us mentally and emotionally very severely. Something to realize too though is that often people will honor your freedom of will. If you were to stop talking to someone or ignore someone themselves, then they may assume you do not want to talk to them. You may want to consider becoming vulnerable with the ones who do not know about your depression and for the ones that do, seek help.

In my experience, I often feel worthless, useless and unneeded. I've had people tell me that it is better for me to just die, that I am worth nothing and I am nothing. During times of depression, those words hit me like a blast. My mother wouldn't talk to me after i had suicide attempt and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. The thing that I had to learn though is that regardless of how the illness affects the chemicals in my brain, does not mean it has to be truth. People say hurtful things, people lie and unfortunately there are some very bad people in this world. For my part its been learning who is healthy for me to have in my life and who isn't. The 2 people who said that it was better off if they had let me die are no longer in my life. This may not get rid of the depression feeling but alot of managing depression is managing the lies that it tells us.

The zoloft may need to be increased or you may need to have the med change. they can really be difficult in getting med management correct. It may take several tries and combinations. You may want to ask your doc for a upped dose or for another anti-dep on top. If you aren't going to therapy then I would try. CBT especially. THe only way we can manage depression is if we alone work on it. And unfortunately some of that can't be done with medication.

I know you want that feeling of belonging, but you have to believe what we tell you first. If we say to you "David, you belong here and you are needed" one bajillion times, will you actually believe us? Maybe not. That's why its so important to start working on your internal self worth instead of trying to get it from other people. I'm working on this myself in therapy and its really difficult for me. If you need some ideas with it, you are welcome to PM me.

You aren't alone in this david and you DO belong and you ARE a worthy human being worth of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxx (((((((((( ))))))))))

Kuno

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Hi David

Firstly i am so sorry to read how depressed you are :mellow:

I think kuno says it all in her reply how depression makes us think , feel etc

Please know your never alone here we all care very much for each other and i hope soon you feel a bit better :)

love dino

xxxxxxxx

waterfallhugs.gif

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Our perception of the truth is sometimes distorted david. I feel that is the case with you. If you are unhappy where you are and the people around you aren't gracious, can you change that. Find people who can appreciate you for you, and can accept that you have depression and understand it.

I think you started this thread because you really wanted someone to talk to. I admire that. Its a good first step. How can anyone understand whats going on if you dont tell them.

I hope you find some answers and some people in your life that are supportive. If you can go out. Perhaps volunteer somewhere that needs you and will not judge you..

Wishing you the best

MM

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David, always welcome to PM me if you feel that would be more comfortable. (On here too I mean). I'm going to be brief in chat due to traveling but please know I do care (as do other members). While talking may not "fix" anything, the point will be working on coping, managing and if there is something that can be fixed (ie. sitautions going on in life that are in your control/power to fix) then ya know addressing that. (Not saying this as my view of "how to fix your depression" cuz i struggle with it and its not really "fixable" but I DO think you can live life even with having an illness). *HUGS*

I guess I wrote all that to just say I'm still here for you

God bless

Kuno x

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