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Kunoichi

Snowball Effect

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Having such a crap day with depression. I find that when one thing goes wrong, my brain will start to spiral it until it becomes this huge snowball effect and I often end up offending others or isolating myself. I say things I don't always mean and seem to get really "stuck" in my head. I wish I could recognize when that is happening WHILE its happening but too often I do not recognize it until way after.

I know I'm not the only one but when depression hits hard, I get angry. Now I don't consider myself an "angry" person but I'm recognizing how my depression can manifest as anger because I'm angry at myself. Even though I KNOW otherwise, I think that somehow "if I was strong enough" I'd be able to be fine, deal with it and move on. Well I'm not fine, and Whether its a strength issue or not, I'm certainly not dealing with it well.

Anyone know how to stop the snowball?

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I would say first off .. Stop thinking.. its not healthy for us.. Secondly I see you are recognizing behavior in yourself you do not like. Perhaps since you havent been feeling well, have been taking on alot of responsibility and are not on meds. your fuse has become shorter. I hide when I am like that, knowing it will pass. The thing is you know you have support here and we GET IT..

I dont know how to stop the snowball effect. But I do know how to recognize cues... ok mm you are getting pissy... remove yourself from the situation and refocus..

Music is always the first place I turn. Then if that doesnt help..I do chores, mow, rake, etc. Bend an ear, mine is always available.

hugs

mm

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*hugs* mm

Yeah I did take a step back away from everyone yesterday for few hours and laid down. I was in extreme amounts of pain and it was fueling my anger and depression. I just don't want to hurt others or myself when I get like that, something (for self) has already happened once. I think next time I feel it, I'll just talk to someone about it. I am having issues with that as well lately.

Thank you as always MM :)

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How to stop it? I don't know. I used to know, at least in theory, how to at least slow it down. Something like diverting the thoughts by distraction, like mm said, music, etc.

But what I've experienced lately is "overdosing" in a way on distraction. I believe it has more to do woth not facing something, not choosing to face the needed and it keeps banging away in our heads until we finallly deal with it.

So is it anger, then? Or is it rhe annoyance of reality and its demands?

But yeh, if I too were just strong enough or smart enough or whatever enough.... then reality wouldn't be such a damn pest.

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