Just asking -What are you doing for the holidays ??

[xmascarol25 1]

Well for me I am planning on going to my sons house for Christmas providing everything is alright.Meaning my anxieties and depression are not bad.Last year I was all set to go and I broke completely down.Had anger spells cried so I had to stay home which meant they had to come to my apt on Jan 1 .Which by the way I didn't feel all to comfortable with that.I am wondering I am kind of scared and nervous whenever my kids do come over is that normal?Then again who is to say what is normal.. I just get very anxious and nervous whenever they are here like I am going to say or do the wrong thing ,I think part of it is because my grand kids are 4 and six. You have to be careful how you act in front of them. I mean I don't want them to see me all nervous anxious and angry.I just don't get it why should I be afraid of my own grandchildren and children?? Does anyone else fear there families coming inside there homes?Believe me they will let me know if I say something wrong they had already.It is like I am almost afraid to even talk or move. I love them so much but this fear of people including my family coming into my home is bothering me. I am more relaxed with my friend why because she never puts me down or judges me. Actually we have a good time together we will watch movies when she is able to stay or just talk. We have this thing called the name game say for instance .There is a Pete Moss or a Jim Shoe something like that. WE laugh so hard one thing I do know with this disorder you have to have some kind of  sense of humor otherwise you will go crazy and  I so do love to make people laugh. I also love to make things to and I give them away for Christmas.Hey nobody should have to go cold or without. My greatest joy in life is to help others. I know off topic here but still.  Happy Halloween to all.Xmas Carol. yes I was born on Christmas Day. I hope everyone here can have a anxiety free holiday season but I also know that is easier said then done.. I just hope I can go to my sons for Christmas. See it isnt for two months already and I am getting anxious also I have a doctors appointment with my shrink on the 22 of November and I am already having anxieties about that why because I have to go with someone I hardly know he drives seniors around but on a van and I am so afraid of falling . I can deal with having to stay alone at the doctors which I suppose is a big step for me considering just about a year ago I needed someone with me at all times. I just am afraid they may leave me stranded. They say they won't but still.You know how it is with anticipatory anxieties.I have that all the time. 

[Guest GodBizarre]

I am planning for our next holiday would be in the beach and we will be having our exchange gift. Exciting!!